I hate talking weight loss. Full on dislike it.
I am over it. You probably are too.
But, it is the nature of the beast for me, and fighting that was only causing me more stress. I have to meet a person where they are, and most people have been lied to. I want to help you, but first I want you to understand one really basic thing.
This isn’t easy.
It is simple.
But it is not easy.
There are a few lies you have been told holding you back, and that is number one; It is easy!
Y’all, YOU ARE NOT DUMB. You raise children, you run households, you work, you plan, and you take care of business. So why are you so stupid when it comes to advertising! Susan, do you really think that taking that pill is going to melt all your belly fat? Sharron if that shake your friend is selling is so freaking magical and works so well why is SHE selling it?? If that shit really worked you think Sally in the minivan on Facebook would be the one selling it?! NO. It would come from a pharmacist. You know why is doesn’t? Because drugs can’t make claims that aren’t true! But you know you can; Cheryl and her magical keto creamer…
There is NO easy way, there is no quick fix. None. (Are there surgeries you can get, yes, but I would argue the money spent and recovery time isn’t really quick or easy)
I saw an advertisement the other day that made me want to scream, and also made me want to cry for the poor souls dumb enough to believe it. It was a gym selling a trial/bootcamp type membership, they used the words blast fat, rapid weight loss, long and lean muscles, get toned… first off- if you want long and lean muscles you better be a long and lean person. If you are 5’1 that is not in the cards for you, don’t get mad at me about it, your Mom should have found a taller partner… and toned! Really! We still say that?? No one is blasting fat. No one is rapidly losing fat… if you see the scale drop down 10 pounds in a week IT AINT FAT.
It is mostly water and shit. Congratulations, you could have bought a laxative and sat in a sauna and saved yourself some money…
You know what else you could do to lose weight quickly? You could take drugs! You probably won’t find a dealer on Facebook, or maybe you can I am out of the loop; anyways you could just pick up a nice drug habit and lose weight! Easy peasy! Maybe you could swallow a tapeworm! Yum! So simple! Don’t have to worry about calories now!
(Does that sound crazy to you?)
An easy way doesn’t exist. Can you find a group of skinny ladies who swear by a certain shake, keto powder, creamer, wrap, whatever stupid shit we are selling now on Facebook that TELL you it is easy? YES! Of course you can! They are also at the top of their pyramid (literally).
Here is a HARD rule; it isn’t easy.
If you want to spend money on things you don’t need you are better off going to Target and buying more throw pillows and candles, at least you will burn some calories walking around…
Lie number two: You need a scale.
Oh boy. This one gets me really feisty.
What is a scale going to tell you that you don’t already know?
Really. What can it tell you that you do not already FEEL?
Feeling fat today? Guess what, you do not need a scale to tell you that you are up a pound.
Feeling like a slim trim beautiful bag of skin? Cool! Do you really need a scale to tell you that you are down a pound?
No. You don’t. You know what you get from a scale?
Validation you should be giving yourself! (I’m yelling)
If you are feeling like you gained weight why do you need the numbers to confirm it? If you feel like you lost weight, why do you need the numbers to confirm it?
Why are our feelings not enough? Do you have eyes, do you wear pants, and do you have any sort of relationship with your body? If you answered yes to any of those things, you do not need a scale. The scale is messing y’all up. BAD.
Do yourself a favor; get off the thing, for good. And get in touch with your body and how you feel about it
that is FAR more powerful than a 20 dollar piece of plastic.
Using a scale is holding you back. It is stopping you from learning to FEEL and listen to your body. You will never learn how to eat when you let three numbers tell you what to do every day. You will never learn to honor your body through exercise when you let three numbers dictate your routine. Put it away, stop getting excited about losing weight, you don’t know what you are losing. You could have lost 3 pounds of muscle which means your worse off.
Feel your body, toss the scale.
Now. Like really, go and throw it out. I’ll wait.
Lie number three: It is quick.
We already touched on this in the first one, but it needs repeating. Don’t come into my gym and think you can work out for 3 weeks and magically turn yourself into Cindy Crawford and your done. That doesn’t happen.
This is a lifetime commitment. Do you know one of the most painful things I deal with? Cancellations.
They break my heart. Every single one of them I want to write back a full on dissertation.
Why are you giving up on yourself? Why is your health not important? Why can’t you find the time to take care of yourself?? Don’t you know that if you neglect your health EVERYTHING in your life will suffer! Don’t you know that you can find freedom here! You can learn your power, you safely test your limits, and you can overcome fears, jump hurdles, get beyond yourself and GROW! You don’t have the money? Didn’t I see you at Chilli’s last week? Do you know how expensive being SICK is?? Oh, It isn’t working??
Are YOU working??
This is a commitment. This isn’t something you do to get in shape. This is something you do to live your best possible life. This isn’t to look good in a swimsuit, that’s an amazing perk, but that isn’t the goal. The goal is being 80 years old and being able to stand back up when you fall, the goal is being able to play with your kids without being out of breath, the goal is being able to say YES to life as it comes because you are in good enough shape that you can handle most anything that comes your way.
The older I get, the more these matters, and I am only 36.
Here is a hard truth; some of y’all are missing out on life because you are not comfortable enough in your body to fully take part in it. This is where you get comfortable. And it doesn’t happen in 3 weeks, it happens over the course of years.
There are so many more, but these are the big three I keep hearing and seeing.
It is simple. But it takes work.
If you are not willing to show up don’t expect to see changes.
Can you white knuckle your way through a 1200 calorie no carb diet running 2 hours a day and lose a ton of weight? Shit yes you can.
Talk to me in a year and tell me how you are doing…
There is one more lie,
that you will magically feel better or fixed when you lose weight.
This one is a big fat maybe and it depends. It depends how you did it. It depends how you treated yourself during it. It depends if you can maintain it.
1200 calorie lady aint happy. She may put up a good front, but she isn’t. She is terrified to gain back a pound. She is scared to eat and enjoy food. She thinks if she missed one gym session, or doesn’t burn 600 calories in that hour that everything will fall apart. (I know… I’ve been her…)
so she is always looking for the next shake, pill, and powder to help her cheat herself a little more. It is shitty way to live.
Then there are the people who find the holy grail of fitness and weight loss. The magic trick and secret so powerful on some dare try it.
The love themselves through it.
They stop obsessing over numbers, because they know they really don’t matter and will they change. Guess when you stop gaining and losing a few pounds every day… when you die. Getting upset that you went up two pounds is pretty freaking stupid, you ate a big dinner and need to take a shit, settle down and be happy you had food to eat.
They start eating like they actually like themselves. That means full meals that don’t make them sad to look at because it is a fiber one bar and a piece of lettuce. It also means they aren’t eating an entire box of Oreos too, cause that doesn’t feel hot either. They eat. They aren’t scared of food, they understand some choices are better than the others and if they get it right most of the time they are fine.
They move. Not only to burn calories or chase a higher ass, but because it really is medicine, and once you get a love of fitness in your body you cannot get rid of it if you tried. (But guess what, you will NEVER love it when you only use it as a means to lose 20 pounds and get rid of your fupa {googleit})
You have to do it because it is your actual god given responsibility. Be grateful you have a body that can move, that is something we take for granted and abuse the hell out of. Treat your body as such, and you will fall in love with the process, and that is the only way to see results that stick.
Per usual, I wanted to keep this short and 23 pages later I am still typing.
This started as a rant, I am so sick of telling Susan that yes I have heard of that drink and I think it is total shit so save your money. Maybe move your ass a few times a week, eat like you give a shit about yourself. But that is too harsh… I am the bad guy for telling you to spend your money in the grocery store, and calling out the fact that you do, in fact, have the time and money to get to the gym, you’re just being lazy and looking for excuses not solutions.
I’ll leave you with this. I love what I do. I love where I do it, and I love who I do it with. I am honored to work with every person who comes into the gym. And because of that I promise to always tell you the truth.
It’s not easy, it takes time, you have to work at it, and it’s pretty damn simple if you get out of your own way…