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Gratitude Journaling
Heather Maio • September 10, 2019
..finding the extraordinary in the ordinary
Extraordinary Ordinary. I was this close to naming my blog this. The Extraordinary Ordinary. I am obsessed with those two words, and their meaning when put together. They became a little game I would play, challenging myself to find moments of extraordinary in a very ordinary life.
I journal religiously. Sometimes I write pages and pages, other times I write three words. The time spent writing isn’t relevant, but the habit of writing is, and it changed me. It has created an extraordinary existence in a pretty ordinary life.
Gratitude journaling isn’t a new concept. I am far from the first person to suggest it. But I will shove it in your face until you do it because I believe it to be that powerful. Fitness is important, nutrition is important, but gratitude is IT. It is the foundation you can build EVERYTHING upon.
I, like most of the people I know have a pretty average life. Average in that we are doing OK most of the time. I can go to the grocery store and provide the people I love with food. I have a home, I have transportation, the people I love are generally healthy, I have friendships, family, a bed, clothes… my needs are meant. But even typing that out I see that’s not average. That is pretty incredible. I have a home. A family I love. Means to provide myself and my people with what they need. Why was I not appreciating that?
I read all the books. Like. All the books. I know (and knew then) every self help trick and tool there was. But I wasn’t living them. It is one thing to know better, it is an entirely different thing to do better.
I needed to do better.
Gratitude journaling was my experiment, I saw its benefits almost instantly, I haven’t looked back since and I am now an annoying toddler asking for a snack with it. I’m gonna keep saying it until you do it.
First, what tell hell is it?
It is painfully simple and can look different each day or as you progress. To start simply list three things you are grateful for. Preferably do this in the morning and again at night. That’s it.
I hear people say they don’t know what you write. That bullshit. You don’t have three things you are grateful for? You woke up. You have sight. You put your feet on the ground. BAM. Seriously, if you’re that far stuck in your negative self, you need this.
I’ve been told they don’t have time to write… in a DM... while they were on Instagram…
This can take as little as 30 seconds. Do not over complicate it. Make it a habit by adding it on to something you always do… like going to bed… put a journal and a pen right there. Simple. Drink coffee every day? Throw your journal there.
Don’t make excuses here, look for ways to make it happen.
And write.
Look, some days I am extra salty. I write down HOUSE CAR KIDS. You know what happens RIGHT AFTER THAT?? My mood changes, almost instantly. I have a house, I have a car, I have three beautiful children
who may be assholes that don’t want to brush their nasty teeth or go to bed… but they are my assholes.
And in that moment of frustration I needed that break to realize that.
That is the first superpower of Gratitude journaling. It forces reflections. It forces a moment of pause to sit and focus ONLY on the things that bring you joy. It makes you realize all the little blessings in your life.
The extraordinary moments in the ordinary days.
It didn’t take long to notice a shift in my mood. I started appreciating (noticing) all I had to be grateful for. Look I know this is gonna sound outlandish and you’re going to want to roll your eyes, but doing the laundry, putting away dishes, cleaning the kitchen… all those daily chores that used to piss me off to no end- they started to make my smile. They started to bring me joy.
Superpower number two; you become a smiling idiot. Ok not really, but it can feel like that sometimes. When you remind yourself daily how much you love the people in your life, how happy they make you, how lucky you are to have them alive and healthy, cleaning up their dishes becomes a lot less annoying. You know the whole “I get to” verses “I have to”. It is that. I get to take care of my family. That brings me more joy then I anything I do. I express my love for them by keeping our space clean, so they can function their best, that isn’t a chore anymore. It is a choice I am making; I get to do that; I get to show them love that way. It is wonderful realizing that difference, and it feels really great not bitching about dishes in the sink every 9 seconds.
(does this mean I am like June Cleaver and a full on 50’s housewife? No. It is saying I acknowledge that I am the one who needs a clean house. My kids don’t care if there are toys on the floor in the morning, it isn’t ruining their day. My husband will happily leave dishes in the sink for 5 hours and feel fine, that drives my ODC bonkers… I acknowledge NOW that I clean for ME. Not them. I also acknowledge how grateful I am that I have them to care for… all of this put together make our household a lot less stressful.)
Superpower number three; It changed the way I viewed and treated my body. It is no secret I have a pretty messed up past with food and body image. Gratitude played a major roll in fixing that. I started this practice shortly before my first Whole30, and at the time I NEVER listed myself as something I was grateful for. Kind of weird right? I am the central part to all of my blessings, yet I wasn’t acknowledging myself in any of them. I think that is a very feminine trait. We have a hard time patting ourselves on the back, and an even harder time being thankful for ourselves. We pick our flaws apart, we look at all the areas we could do better in, we examine every spot of cellulite. But when was the last time you looked in the mirror at something you loved? When is the last time you thanked your body for carrying you through all of this? A few weeks into my round I started really thinking about my body, and for the first time in my adult life it was positive. I was grateful for my health. I was grateful I had a desire to change and stop behaviors that didn’t serve me. I was grateful I kept showing up for myself, even when it didn’t feel fun.
THAT gratefulness was what finally clicked for me. I could never accept a body I was constantly picking apart. I would never find happiness in something I was always striving to change. I had to be grateful, and practicing that changed everything.
It changed how I ate. It changed how I moved. It changed how I showed up for myself and other people. Being grateful for myself gave me permission to be myself… and do shit like this. Things that scare me but I know could make me better, and hopefully (ideally) help YOU feel better.
Because that is what gratefulness taught me; If you stay grateful, EVERYTHING you touch is better for it.
Fast forward to today, many many months after I started this extraordinary ordinary gratefulness game with myself, I found myself smiling so big folding my sons’ socks.
It was one of those moment I am blessed to have a lot now. Moments of extraordinary joy, even during the most mundane things. I see them now, more importantly I FEEL
them. This wasn’t just folding socks, it would have been 2 years ago, but today it is so much bigger. I see so many things I am grateful for in a few pairs of socks.
I see my baby, who I love more than I could put on paper, and I GET to provide him with clothing, and so much more. I get to do that freely. I could walk into Target and didn’t need to worry about buying these. There was a time in my life I couldn’t do that. EVERY purchase was planned. GRATEFUL I can do this now. Grateful for the life I have that allows me to do this.
Then I walked into my office at my gym and saw this little guy(photo above). No idea who put him this way, but it made me smile. And that smile reminded me how in this office I get to live out my dream, literally my dream. Helping people with their fitness and health, I prayed for this. (And I manifested John right into my life but that’s a story for a different day).
These are just two example a few minutes apart of the power Gratefulness journaling has. On days like today where I feel emotionally heavy and off, I need these moments. Before I would have just “had a bad day”, but I can’t anymore, I can’t when I see all the things I have going right everywhere I look. And it is all because I started taking five minutes to be grateful…
Gratitude above and before everything. I swear to you, it will change the way you see your life, and that changes everything.