Raised an eyebrow or scowled at an annoying presence. My face has been frozen since I turned 30. I rather enjoy it that way.
I got Botox for the first time a few months after turning 30. Friends had just gotten married and looking at the pictures from the reception I noticed these lines creeping around my eyes. I made an appointment, and the rest is wrinkle free history.
It did raise some eyebrows (not mine…. heyoooo). Was I too young for it? Was it necessary? Did I really need it??
I have no idea, as the saying goes, it wasn’t my lamp. I wasn’t doing it for them. For my husband. For anyone. I did it for me.
A few days later I felt and looked younger. Say less Botox; you have won me over.
But is it contradictory that I, someone who works with women helping them accept and love themselves, blows her face up with poison? I don’t think so.
No one, ever, is going to love everything about their body. Wanting to change something is NORMAL.
I think that is the real magic, accepting we can change things, want to change things, hate our cellulite and
still love our BEING at the same time.
We can fully embrace aging, gaining weight and going gray. We can also embrace filler, a mindful diet and hair dye.
Both are OK. One school of thought does not need to throw shade to the other.
We can embrace all the things at the same time.
I love getting older. Each year is like another permission slip to stop giving so many fucks are start doing exactly what I want to do. And with that comes the knowledge that what any women wants to do to feel good in her body is VALID and none of my business.
The problem is when we start doing things because it is what we think we NEED to do.
We need to fight wrinkles with everything we have OR we need to embrace the laugh lines and crow’s feet that came from so many years of laughter.
We must stop looking for heals, short skirts and leggings and start looking for respectable sweaters and chinos OR we need to hold on to our youth, “Mom shorts” are in fashion now….
We start forcing things on ourselves to fit-in or fit some made-up mold. That is a problem. It is the same as eating 1000 calories in the name of weight loss. It sucks. While it may get you results you are going to hate every single minute of it; its going to feel (and be) incredibly disingenuous,
and your going to end up disliking yourself more in the process.
Whatever you are doing, make sure you are doing it for you. Because you WANT to do it. It makes you feel good.
It is easy to judge the opposite of our choices here… watch that closely. Remember that your judgements speak more of you and cause you harm.
Pay attention to what you feel the need to condemn or question when it comes to another body; that is your fear and bias in action. Judging someone else means your judging yourself, and that sucks. The more you can accept ALL bodies, the more you will accept yourself.
But Heather- how can you possibly say that accepting yourself could also mean changing yourself?
Because I can Sharron, that’s why.
Because we are complex, multifaceted individuals and liking yourself means 1083 different things at the same time.
I like my face frozen and I don’t like wearing makeup. I wish I was the kind of women who wore cute fall outfits with high boots and scarfs but I am not, I am the kind of women who wears leggings and sweatshirts and changes into her “nice” leggings and sweatshirts before she goes out. I see beautiful big smiles complete with laugh lines and think how amazing her life must be to have earned those marks, all the laughter that made them. And I see my own and accept I am not ready to embrace them for myself yet. Maybe I never will be. Who knows and really, who cares?
My point here? I don’t know, some random thoughts I felt the need to express. I am not a fan of smoke a mirrors, women have enough to deal with when it comes to our body image. The least we can do for ourselves is give ourselves permission to do what makes us happy, however that looks, and give the same permission to every woman around us.
There is so much more to life then the way we look, but if a little lipstick, a pair of earnings or some Botox is going to make you feel a little better- do it. Or don't. Because none of it matters anyway. How we look is the actual least important thing about any of us. I will say this until I am blue in the face, feeling good about yourself FEELS GOOD!
Do what you need to do, and let everyone else do the same.
Smile big when you look in the mirror too… even when you don't want to. Liking what you see is never going happen all the time, but you still have to be thankful for it.