Most of us are clear on the fact that we are over dieting. We know both intuitively and logically that dieting has done us zero favors.
Whatever weight we lost came back, often with a vengeance, and the health affirming behaviors we may have picked up from the diets did us no favors either – because we attach them to something we do solely to lose weight. Which is trash – and why those behaviors often trigger a relapse back into diet-based thoughts and actions.
How is it that we can be 100% opposed to dieting yet still feel stuck in its bullshit whenever we aim to eat in a way that nourishes our body and helps improve our health? Because we may be holding on to some diet-based behaviors – and friends, it's time to kick them to the curb.
First, we have to cover what a diet really is. Currently, the anti-diet movement is huge, which is wonderful – but also confusing because we now have "lifestyles," cleanses, and protocols that are cleeeearly
diets claiming they are not. And some of us believe that bullshit.
If something asks you to monitor your food intake, such as counting calories, macros, or watching carbs, that is a diet. Which, by default, make the so-called lifestyle programs such as Weight Watchers and Noom very much diets.
Of course, there is nuance here – and I would be remiss to not point it out. While I firmly believe WW and Noom are trash, they are underfeeding and depriving women all over the globe.
There can be a place for tracking your calories, and the problem is when that tracking becomes a lifelong crutch.
Unfortunately, some people have no idea what a portion size looks like. Our supersized culture does not help that. Understanding what 5 ounces of protein look like can be hugely beneficial, and knowing what an ounce or two of cheese looks like is to your benefit. Knowing how many calories are in that handful of nuts or serving of granola can be beneficial knowledge. There is a place for tracking in some form for some people. Not all, and in all cases, not all the time. Tracking is a temporary tool to help get you from point A to point B.
If you need it to STAY at point B, you are doing it wrong.
Taking macro or calorie advice from some online Insta coach is NOT the play – ever. The only person who can give you a meal plan containing caloric breakdowns is a Registered Dietitian, and they will do so in a way that helps you NOT need to monitor and track forever.
Then you have cleanses, protocols, and other "lifestyle" programs such as Paleo or Keto… If it has a name, it is a diet. Period.
If you feel the need to name how you eat, you are dieting.
I am not even going to touch Keto because if you genuinely believe removing most vegetables from your plate, drastically limiting fruits, avoiding carbs at all costs, and eating butter, cheese, cream cheese, peanut-butter fat bombs is a GOOD thing, you can't be helped. You (unfortunately) need to learn the hard way that what you are doing to your body by following that restrictive bullshit is fucking you up.
Paleo is a bit more nuanced but equally problematic when it becomes dogmatic and restrictive. I am all for "eating clean," but I fucking hate that term. What even is eating clean? Doing shots of Windex post-meal? If we demand we eat "only clean," we can easily find ourselves down and a dark and restrictive hole.
Being mindful of ingredients is a good thing, and aiming to get in a ton of veggies and enough protein is a good thing. But eating in a way that limits food choices because you will not allow a little soy or food coloring will basically ensure you are depriving yourself unless, of course, you have a legitimate food allergy.
Which brings me to my next not-diet
diet…
Protocols that aim to help you find food intolerances…
Y'all. They are diets. They may not have been designed to become a diet, but 99% of people are using them; they are very much a diet. If you legitimately think you have a dairy intolerance, remove dairy. Do not remove all other gluten, sugar, and joy from your plate. If you feel you have problems with gluten, stop eating gluten and see what happens. You do not need to remove all "potentially inflammatory" foods from your diet to see how you feel. All food can be potentially inflammatory. Going on a 21 day or 30-day cleanse, which is what these protocols are, is another way to say, "I am going on a diet."
All that to say, diets are everywhere, even where they claim they are not. If you are removing things from your diet, watch yourself because you are going to find yourself on a diet almost all the time.
So-- what do you do when you want to feel better but don't want to end up repeating the same cycle for the 10384 times?
You ALLOW, and you ADD.
You allow all foods at all times, and you give yourself full permission to eat anything at any time. And believe me, I know how scary that sentence looks. That is why I built an entire program around unfucking your relationship with food. If you are terrified to eat certain things, struggle with binging, and feel shame around what is going on your plate and in your belly, I implore you to check Magic Mindset out and allow it to help you heal.
Because the truth is, as long as the food is off-limits to you, it has power over you. The more you tell yourself that you can not have something, the more you will desire it. When you fully allow ALL things – even the things you constantly find yourself binging on – you will change your relationship with them, and almost all the time, you will stop craving them.
In addition to allowing – you ADD.
You allow for big, beautiful lunch and breakfast, something very few of us do. We eat like birds all day, then wonder why we come home and binge and end up eating everything in sight…
You add lots of veggies because they are magic and help you feel amazing!
You eat meat. Animal protein and this is coming from a former vegetarian. Eating meat is to your benefit, and it will allow you to feel amazing.
You also allow and eat (don't spit out your water…) CARBS.
Not dieting means eating food that you enjoy – what a novel concept, right!
If you want to stop dieting, you have to start eating. Common sense, but we tend to lose that when it comes to our waistlines.
And I know how scary this is! Again, that is why I built the Magic Mindset Program to help you through this process. Because we have so much to learn when it comes to releasing diets and their bullshit.
I get asked a lot – how do I stop binging, and in short, the answer is straightforward:
you start eating.
You eat the foods you have told yourself that you cannot be trusted around. You eat the foods you binge on. Understanding the reason you binge is that you have given that food power it does not deserve.
You also get rid of the scale. Kick that fucker to the curb, and tell his busted ass bye-bye. You will never (ever ever ever) be free of your diet-based bullshit if you are basing your worth and weight on a number.
You have to find your higher why. Why do you want to change your relationship with your food beyond your body? What are you hoping to have happened when you change the way you interact with your physical being? If you have not checked out the podcast all around Highest Self, go do that ASAP because we cover this concept in detail, and again, this is THE reason I created the Magic Mindset program. Getting to know how you truly want to treat yourself changes EVERYTHING, and spoiler alert: you will never want to restrict your deprive yourself.
The confusing thing is sometimes being good to yourself still requires forcing – but not in the sense we are used to. Forcing to help you grow, behaviors like taking time to check in with yourself and ask how you are feeling. Making sure you are meeting your protein and fiber needs. Drinking enough water. Things that ADD health to our lives and have nothing to do with becoming less – instead, they allow you to become MORE.
Forcing yourself to PAUSE – a concept that is drilled repeatedly in the Magic Mindset program is by far the biggest game-changer. It is another thing that, in theory, sounds very simple: checking in with yourself, asking what you need at that moment, and honoring that need – but in reality, it is challenging at first because we have so much diet-bullshit to wade through.
Pausing is a continuation of allowing. It is creating space for higher-self to guide you what you need, or in some cases, do NOT need in whatever moment you find yourself in.
Giving yourself permission to eat everything at any time and doing so in a way that serves you – which you will know you are doing if you are taking time to PAUSE, check-in, and ask what you need. Allowing your body the space to ask for its needs is a game-changer. Your body does not want to feel like shit, and your mind does not want to be chronically deprived.
And lastly, don't fix. We keep going back to diets because we feel the need to "undo," and that undoing is exactly what keeps us stuck. Every time you tell yourself you need to earn or burn your food, you keep yourself in your bullshit. There is nothing to fix; keep it moving. In aiming to be "good," you are keeping yourself in a perpetual state of diet-bullshit.
This is a much abbreviated version of my podcast – if the topic is interesting to you, and you would like further clarification around it, check out episode 10, "Ditching Diet-Bullshit." And if you are struggling to leave the diet cycle, if you feel like you are always returning to the same behaviors and never seeing results, check out the Magic Mindset Program. There is a better way! You can live the diet-free life of your dreams if you are willing to do a little workaround reframing your mindset and getting out of your own way.