Complaints are like…
I started this post with my sob story. All the wrongs committed against my business, our sole source of income that supports my family, and the families of whom we employ that I care deeply about. Bitching about how gyms were, and still are, unfairly targeted as problematic. How people are using fear as a reason to put their health on hold, under the guise that staying home in isolation is somehow better than breaking a sweat and safely experiencing human connection…
Under the pretext of telling my story, I was complaining.
2020 taught me complaining does nothing aside from pissing the complainer off more. It solves 0% of your problems and makes you sound like a whiner.
Why are we still bitching on Facebook? Has it done anything productive?? We are speaking to our respective echo chambers, who are reverberating back our fears and frustrations.
Don't get me wrong, I have been guilty of this. I've posted at least 7 complaint-based rants and deleted about 208 more because I know logically, I am not changing anyone's mind. I am venting. And while venting can be cathartic, it can be equally damaging… we run the risk of making ourselves even more fired up, fall further into the delusion that there is nothing we can do, and we are probably pissing off some people as well.
Maya Angelo said it best, if you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, accept it.
Complaining does nothing. Make phone calls, sign petitions, write your senators and call news stations. Do something. Action speaks louder than complaints. I fear 2020 is becoming the year of learned helplessness, where we all become tricked into thinking bitching is doing something productive, that by publicly taking a stance, we have done our job.
We haven't. Talk is cheap. Complaining is even cheaper….
Everything passes.
We've lived through 100% of our worst days.
Time is wild. It can seemly drag on forever, trapping us in its monotony, then suddenly we wake up and months have passed. We wonder where the time went.
(and what do we have to show for it??)
Last year taught me to stop and ground myself in the present moment, because it is all I have. Last year reminded me that everything becomes smaller, more manageable, and eventually a distant memory with enough space.
Nothing is as bad as it seems.
When you are in it, the forest gets lost in the trees.
Every event can seem like a targeted attack on you, your family, and your community. It is easy to forget at any given time, millions of people can be experiencing the exact same thing, and almost all of us will be ok.
Those who are not are the ones who chose to stay living in the past, replaying all the wronged moments. Forgetting you can only be a victim once.
Choosing to stay there is on you.
Focusing on the bad only makes the bad get bigger. We attracted the energy we put out, and our thoughts create our reality. Being happy takes effort, but so does staying miserable...
Some people just like to complain…those aren't my people.
See above. Complaining ain't it, and it seems some enjoy bitching too much to stop. We have normalized sharing our opinions as if they are fact. They aren't... 2020 showed me some people don't want to have conversations, they just want to be heard. Learning to not waste my time talking to a wall was a god-send.
Making an effort to stop bitching (because also see above, we receive back from the universe the energy we put out into it) makes you aware of how often people bitch. Cutting people off isn't mean. It is the kindest thing you can do.
Snooze, unfollow, and unfriend. Do not respond to the text. Change the subject of the conversation or leave the room all together. Protect your headspace by controlling what you see in cyberspace. And protect your energy by not allowing it to be influenced by the low vibes around you.
Be kind. Always.
We have no idea what anyone else is going through, ever. Being kind is always the right call.
Even if they are an asshole because dropping to their bullshit will only leave you smelling like shit too.
Happiness is being present.
All we have is now.
If we spend our time crying over the past or distressing over the future, all we accomplish is robbing ourselves of present joy.
Some of last year sucked.
But a lot didn't.
I found magic when I decided to start looking for it. We have a choice every day when we wake up. \
Be present and committed to trying to see life as it is, or don't and run off with the stories in your head.
Last year forced me to stay in the now, take in only what I can see, touch, and hear around me.
Nothing else is real. Realizing that changed everything.
Worrying solves nothing.
Worrying is asking for what you won't don't want. It is a dress rehearsal for disaster.
I believe the universe listens to everything, and if I spend my time focusing on catastrophic outcomes, that is precisely what I will get.
Woe is me never made anyone better, never fixed a problem, and never elevated anyone's vibration.
Action is the only thing that solves anything. If you are worried about something, prepare for it.
If you cannot prepare for it, as was the case with almost all of 2020's bullshit, you have nothing to worry about. It is in God's hands, not yours.
Whenever I found myself in a worry spiral, I would ground myself. Touch something solid, or better yet, go outside and feel the earth beneath my feet, close my eyes and breathe. After a few cleansing breathes, I would silently repeat a mantra, asking for my worry to be taken away with my outgoing breath.
Maybe that sounds crazy to you, but I think it is pretty fucking crazy to sit around daydreaming about disasters….
Food can and should be a comfort.
Read that again.
Carbs can heal. Sugar can bring joy. Cheese is like a warm hug.
A few years ago, I thought eating as a form of comfort was a sign of weakness. Now I know that is just old diet bullshit.
While I never want to eat to NUMB, I will consciously choose to indulge whenever needed. (it was needed a lot during 2020).
Sometimes life kicks you in the nuts, and a cookie will give you that little bit of joy. As long as eating to soothe doesn't make your problem worse and turn into a mindless binge, it is all good.
Eating is an easy way to bring some pleasure to an otherwise gray day. Never let someone tell you food can't be comfortable. Stay present, stay mindful, check-in with yourself, and ask yourself what you want and need at that moment.
If your body/heart/mind asks for a cookie, give it a cookie.
Prevention is the best medicine.
All we have is our health, and the best medicine is prevention.
If we can stay home and wear masks in the name of prevention, I hope we can also look around and take inventory of the
countless other things we can do proactively to keep our health.
Move more. We are stagnant, sitting more than ever, literally letting our bodies decay and our muscles atrophy. We are becoming weak and immobile.
Eat like you give a shit.
See above, I will never tell anyone to not eat the cookie, but lord, eat some veggies too. Have enough protein to keep your muscles strong.
Drink lots of water. We are all chronically dehydrated. Sleep more. We already watched everything on Netflix, get to bed early, you will thank yourself in the morning. Lifestyle diseases are killing us at rapid rates. We are lowering our quality of life out of pure laziness. 2020 showed us all. Without our health, we have nothing. I pray we come out of this strange year with deep respect and appreciation for our health and keep the energy of pro-actively taking care of it. Doing something before it is too late.
Movement is medicine, and diets can heal. Sleep and sunlight are something we can all use a little more of. Keeping ourselves healthy should always be seen as a duty. Imagine what that world would look like.
And get back to the gym…