Worrying about the future robs you of the present.
I have spent so much of these last months thinking about what tomorrow will look like. When we will be “back to normal”. What school will look like, when I will be able to go on vacation,
when will I be able to go to Target without a mask, when will the gym open and what will it look like. Where what when why and sometimes how….
Where is the line that divides planning and preparation from worry and anxiety? Am I spiritually bypassing by not reading some things or am I holding onto my sanity? It feels like all these last few months have brought is questions, at this point I’ve let go of ever receiving answers that bring closure.
I know this;
worrying about tomorrow is robbing me of today.
As I type this I am sick thinking about what the gym will look like. We got some answers (in the form of an opening date) but those answers did little to bring me peace. I imagine teachers felt the same when they opened their guidelines, along with countless other professions…
I somehow got caught up in the idea that knowing something would create calm. It didn’t happen. I am reminded (again- eye roll)
that I am the only person who can create my peace. Anything outside of me is noise, some worth listening to and heading- a lot not.
Worrying about tomorrow never made today better. It never made tomorrow easier. It doesn’t solve any problems. Planning without become anxious is hard, but it’s doable by focusing on knowns and letting go of what you want to see happen.
What I can productively do is this:
live in the present. Be adaptable, and ready to change without judgement or bitching- neither are helpful.
Have plans in place and be willing to let them go and plan again.
Above all;
check in with RIGHT NOW. Right now everything is fine. Right now is where I am, and that is where all my focus will be.
Opinions are like….
Everyone's an expert, everyone knows what Is right and everyone can tell you what you should be doing with your body/business/children.
Simple rule: who would you take advice from? Listen to them, take in their information and if you find it useful apply it to your life.
Be willing to learn, expand your views
(and choice of news) beyond the little bubble you placed yourself in i.e.: if you only listen to Fox, turn on CNN, and don’t attack me- cause if you only listen to CNN turn on Fox.
NO ONE is 100% right, no side is without fault. Learn, be objective, and be open! Maybe some opinions (and voices!) are things you should be taking in more off.
It is like going to a buffet. You may not want the scallop potatoes, you may think they are the worst dumbest shittiest most horrible food ever. But, will it kill you to walk by them and glance at them? NOPE. You can simply not eat them, you don’t need to tell the whole world you are not eating them. And who knows, maybe they don’t look that bad after all so you try a little....and you like them, or in the least they don't kill ya...
Be willing to learn, be willing to listen, and be KIND. If you do not like something/someone/some view; don’t consume it. It really is that simple.
I'm not suggesting we simply toss out every voice that doesn’t align with your beliefs, that closed minded and shitty. We can listen learn and filter.
Can we all agree to start any posts/rants/comments with “it is my opinion that….” Maybe that will remind us that what we think is not in fact a FACT, it is an opinion…. And everyone has one...
You kill more flies with Honey
Be nice. It is for you, not them. People can be assholes,
reacting on that level makes you one too.
Now more then ever I am so painfully aware that arguing my opinion (see above) is rarely helpful. Hear someone out, listen, nod your head, tell them you appreciate them taking the time to explain their stance to you, and keep it moving. Sometimes lack of response is the best response. Scrolling past is kindness to you and to them.
The longer this has carried on the more divisive some of us have become- we can't fight fire with fire. Let's stop trying.
You are allowed to change your opinion….it’s called growth.
You are allowed to walk away from what doesn’t serve you. (announcing your exit isn’t necessary- leave – remove your energy, that speaks by itself)
It is normal be wrong. It is normal to not know the right thing to do. It is normal to feel conflicted. Sometimes there is no clear right answer, go with what feels right in your core. Adjust if/when needed.
Apologize, even if you do not feel like you did something “wrong”. Again, this is for you- not them.
We can never know someone else’s experience, how something felt or why they reacted in whatever way they did. If someone says you hurt/offended/wronged them; apologize sincerely. You would want the same.
Can we normalize this as well? (and save the bullshit “I'm sorry you feel this way…”. Simply say I am sorry, and listen). (some people fight this one- if you are some people and the idea of apologizing when you feel you did nothing wrong is that bothersome take some time to look at that. Two words cost you nothing and can give back a lot to someone. Be kind).
And lastly. Smile.
Smile when you are happy and smile when you do not want to. This goes back to the first lesson,
live in the now. You may have just received awful news, you may be stressed beyond what you have ever experienced, you may be sad/mad/pissed/angry…. But there is still a reason to smile. Find it.
Many emotions can happen at one time,
we have a human condition of focusing on the negative ones and letting them run wild. If there is anything to smile about (which there always is) find it and feel that to.
I believe deeply we are all doing the best we can in whatever situation we have been thrown into. We are all operating on whatever level of consciousness we are at. I write this from a place of personal exploration, as a person who is actively learning, trying, fucking up, and trying again; not as an expert, but as a human who wants to do better. And will keep trying (and undoubtedly messing up!) for years and years to come.
I am already totally dreading while simultaneously looking forward to learning many more lessons....