I geek out on nutrition.
I want to learn everything there is to know. What is the ideal diet, what vitamins are we deficient in, how much protein do we really need, is it brown or white rice?...
The more I learn, the more I consume nutritional knowledge like potato chips, because one theory is never enough, the further I deepen one core belief:
nutrition is contradictory,
there is no right or wrong, everything can be healthy, and everything can mess you up. Long story short; Do you.
I have never been pro-diets. Aside from the handful of Keto Crazy idiots, no one latches onto one eating style and claims it to be THE way (for longer then 2 weeks...)
Diets are trash, but what isn’t a diet at this point? We can argue anytime someone intentionally cuts calories. Even if they are eating an excessive amount well above their needs, they are on a diet. In that case, a “diet” could be a good thing. For someone else, reducing calories from 1500 to 1200 is NOT going to be a beneficial event.
Same behavior, same desired outcome, completely different energy.
Diets aren’t bad. The reasoning behind them can make them so.
I remember “dieting” as early as 5th grade. I had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted to lose weight. I have vivid memories of standing in my parents’ room, looking at myself in their full-length mirror, pinching my love handles, and squeezing back my thighs, imagining what I would look like in a smaller body. Fast forward to high-school, I “dieted” before every dance. Eating only yogurt for breakfast, skipping lunch altogether, popping diet pills that the cashier at Rite-aid let me buy without question, and only eating one handful of Cheez-Its after school.
It was harmful bullshit that never worked because I couldn’t last a week eating like that.
Fast forward a few years, I found myself a teen-mom who had just gained a considerable amount of weight during pregnancy. Everyone told me breastfeeding would melt the pounds away…. They lied.
None of my pre-baby clothes fit, but that wasn’t the main issue.
I felt uncomfortable in my body.
Like I had stepped into someone else’s skin not made for me, it felt like a tight, itchy sweater. Relief wasn’t going to be found in acceptance. I needed to take it off.
So, I dieted, and I lost over 40 pounds. I needed to lose every single one of them, not because I had to hit a goal weight, but because I was stifled in that body.
I felt like me again. I still was not what most would call “skinny,” but my stomach no longer felt like something separate from me. I didn’t feel like a foreigner in my skin. That “diet” was positive. Had I not taken inventory of how I was eating (like a dumpster… chips, cookies, bagels, pasta, candy, no protein, and no water, just diet soda, at least it was diet, right?) I would have lost myself further.
In the space I am in now, I find myself at a crossroads of conflicting views.
For some, intentionally setting out to lose weight is the worst thing they can do. Fixating on food as if they are only worthy if they eat a perfect, clean, and controlled diet. Believing their bodies are not enough as they are, they must shrink and tighten to be worthy of love. A "diet" will never help them find peace. It will fuck them up further and keep them thinking they are not worthy of their own love.
For others, it may save their life. Weight loss means they no longer feeling winded after walking up the stairs, their knees and hips no longer ache after hours on their feet. Being able to play freely with children or grandchildren. Moving through life with greater ease.
I don’t believe health has a size or a number. I have been the picture of “health,” glowing, fit, muscular, and still wholly unwell.
Consumed with unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. I have known many “healthy” looking people whose hormones are a mess and have countless digestive issues, which is just the tip of the iceberg.
Thinking you can tell someone’s health by their pant size or weight is like thinking you can tell if a book will be good by looking only at the cover.
It may be catchy, but the insides can be totally shit. What we see is a small portion of what is really happening.
The inverse, of course, is true. Many who are not the traditional Americanized versions of health are thriving. Their hormones are happy, digestion and gut working correctly, bloodwork is perfect, visceral fat at a comfortable level…
Health is not something you find in clothing size or measure on a scale.
I believe with every fiber of my being, intentionally setting out to lose weight can really fuck a lot of people up. Even more so if these people are fighting with the last 5-20 pounds repeatedly. Let that shit go and find acceptance.
I also know that for some, losing weight allows them a life they did not have prior. It helps them GAIN back some of what they have been missing.
These conversations are complex, nuanced, and dependent on the individual. It is my job as a coach to help both sides find peace and happiness in their bodies.
Both statements are my truth; Losing weight gave me back life. It allowed me to feel like me again. And trying to lose weight ruined years of my life.
Put me in a self-induced hell where nothing was good enough, and happiness was never going to be found.
Drove me to do awful things to be my body. Made me hate myself and lose much of the health I had worked so hard to
gain.
I am anti-diet, but sometimes pro intentional weight loss. I understand for some more, life may be better on the other side, and for others, they are trapped in a cycle they need to remove themselves from.
Both would do well without ever using a scale again.
Neither need to count calories and eliminate food groups, ever.
Both need to learn to listen and trust their body. Both need to know to honor themselves as they are right now.
I am pro-people. Pro health, pro empowerment, pro happiness, and pro contentment. However, that looks for you.
I believe no food is bad, and while some foods are total trash…
Much of what is in the center of our grocery stores are foods we could live without, considering most of it didn’t exist 50 years ago.
Food is engineered to make it hard for us to regulate. Nabisco knows precisely how much sugar, fat, and salt into Oreo’s to make them highly palatable and hard to put down. PepsiCo spent years perfecting the Cheeto, making it light enough to eat the entire bag in one sitting. Soda, chips, candy, cakes, cookies… all of it is made in a laboratory and tested to ensure people will crave it.
The same research that once went into make cigarettes so addictive now goes into our foods…
but unlike cigarettes, our government throws money at these companies allowing them to continue to prey on low-income families and children. I will never tell anyone what to eat, it is none of my business, but the standard American diet is killing us, making us sicker, more unwell, overweight, and disadvantaged than ever before. When information around nutrition is plentiful, and the harmful effects of the SAD (standard American diet- fitting acronym) are well known, we continue to become more unwell because of the teams and drinks we consume.
No food is bad, but not every food is helping us thrive.
I will eat Sour Patch Kids until I burn the tastebuds off my tongue, whenever I make garlic pizza, there is a large amount of Velveeta cheese (which isn’t cheese at all, it’s a cheese-like product) on it, I can’t so no to Combos and those extra soft sugar cookies sold at gas station EVER have a special place in my heart.
I also will not eat Doritos, I don’t touch Chips-a-hoy, Gummy Worms are never worth it, Soda is a no all the time, and unless they are NERDS, Jelly Beans are a waste of calories.
Both can be true.
What is worth it to me to may not be worth it to you.
Food is not logical. I will never tell anyone what to eat, but I will tell everyone to be picky and pause before they mindlessly consume.
I think self-love is a misunderstood concept. We think it means looking in the mirror and loving everything we see. Being 100% happy with ourselves, not desiring to change a thing. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Think of everyone you love, you accept all parts of them, but you don’t LOVE every aspect.
I don’t love that my kids leave their crumbs everywhere, but I love their spirit and personality.
I don’t love my cellulite or saddlebags, but I love my ambition and my blue eyes.
I don’t love that John can’t seem to find the dishwasher even though he is the one who installed it, but I love his muscular chest and the fact I know he will do anything for me (aside from putting a dirty dish away…)
I don’t love every part of me,
some parts I barely tolerate, but I love commitment to showing up for myself.
Love isn’t sweeping. It is acceptance of all, and more significant than that, respect. Having enough care and love for ourselves to know when a behavior is helping us or harming us.
Being able to call our bullshit because we deserve better.
And being able to give ourselves grace because we are human.
Understanding we will never get it right 100% of the time,
but we must be committed to continuing to try.
Nutrition is confusing. Knowing what is right and what is wrong FOR YOU can feel impossible when there is nothing but conflicting schools of thought, years of information about what we are supposed to and NOT supposed to eat, and add to that absurd equation; foods that are barely foods occupying our stores and our shelves.
Finding happiness and peace in our bodies comes down to one main thing; learning to trust.
Committing to taking inventory of ourselves, our behaviors, our beliefs, and actions and questioning if they align with the person we wish to be.
Sometimes a tremendous amount of bullshit calling is needed,
and others, copious amounts of grace, only you can decide what you need at any moment.
Commit to asking yourself what you need, then listen. Your body will guide you.
(and if you want to do better, but confused where to start, I got you. Look for a program coming later this month...)